I thought I lost this a long time ago… but after digging around on the server, I found it hidden behind the moldy dreams… and now, I am sharing it with you…

….no destination in mind. Just walking. I don’t remember where I started..
not sure where I’m going. What I do know is… somewhere… out there…
awaits my destiny. My life. The meaning. The truth.

The Me.

I continue walking along… creating my path. I am comfortable in my
nakedness. I feel the leaves crackle beneath my feet. It is autumn.
Wherever I am. A light breeze blows occasionally.. reminding me of my
physical existence. I am lost within myself.

I stop.. kneel down.. and pick up a leaf. Looking at this wonderous
creation I am now holding, painted of reds and oranges and yellows..
by the Great Mother Earth herself. For some reason I am drawn to this
leaf and decide to keep it. Putting the leaf into my hair, I continue
along my path.

Soft raindrops begin to fall and I twirl around dancing in the tears
from the sky… soothing as they fall against my naked skin… I continue
walking.

I come upon a large rock, Intrigued by its powerful presence, I begin
to climb. The Rock is about the height of myself, and again.
Once on top of the rock, I stand… looking around. Seeing further
than I could before. I can see the sun setting in the horizon. I
can see leaves in many hues of red and orange. I feel total comfort.
I learn.

I step down from the rock… still walking, I come upon a body of water.
Slowly, peacefully, I step into the water. I walk. I walk so far into
the water, my feet lose contact with the ground. . . I begin to swim.

Swimming farther, growing tired, I begin to float on my back.
Resting my tired muscles and bones… feeling the trusted water
surround me. gazing up at the dusky sky.

I reach the other side of the body of water. Someone or something
is here. I feel its existence… but I see nothing. Sight… my
eyes seem to have eluded me. I call out “aye!” but there is no
response. I hear no voice.. no beastly sound… nothing.

yet my instinct… deep inside… I know something or someone is
here with me. I feel it walk with me. Though I can not see,
something inside me knows direction. I begin to feel as if I am
carrying a weight twice that of my own. I am beginning to find it
harder to walk in the direction my body wants to take me…
Losing ground of where I am… I begin to weep.

Seeing a faint haze before me, I realize that it is not my
eyes that have eluded me, but a darkness that has enveloped me.
Again I feel the soft breeze against my nakedness as my tears
slowly fall. Growing tired, and still unaware of where I am, I
curl up to sleep.

Expecting the sun of dawn when I awaken from my slumber, I am
at a loss when I open my eyes to more darkness. Again I call
out “aye!” … Still nothing.

I walk… But this time, I let the darkness lead me. Soon, I
forget the light… the rock… the leaf… I become more
comfortable in the darkness. I move lazily. Letting this
other existence have its way choosing my direction. my
path. my destiny.

I only exist now. Thoughts, Ideas, passions… a faint memory.
Dreams are nothing but a fairy tale. The darkness has taught
me new dreams. Smothered my own. Convinced that I need not worry.
I need not call out. darkness will take care of everything.

Existence seems to have changed me… no more do I see the
lovely hues in the trees. No more do I feel the soft sprinkle
of raindrops. No more am I comfortable in my nakedness. I
cover myself with the leaves and brush… whatever is around
me. Even in this darkness, I feel humility, I feel shame.
I feel small. unimportant. Enveloped in such a strong existence,
yetI have never felt more alone.

Reaching up, I feel the leaf. Reminding me of my journey. My destiny.

I weep.