So, I was chatting with my friend Susie.. and we were discussing Men.. and whats hot… I came to a few conclusions…

The basic attraction meter can be tilted by a hot body and a pretty boy face… or an older distinguished gentleman…ala Sean Connery But for a woman, does this not pretty much equal the standard ‘fuckable’ quotient? Seriously though.. What really gets me sitting on the edge of my seat daydreaming about fully taking advantage of being a woman in my late 30s? When listening to Trent Reznor growl about pleasing me old school animal kingdom style doesn’t do it for me anymore… what is Hot? What can hold my attention like the carrot before the horse?

Well, it is really a combination of qualities that need to be attained to cause the needle to reach the red zone.. Each quality can range from being painfully low.. to achingly hot..er high.. as long as the combination or ‘gross’ quota results in an awakening… we are good.

Looks. Looks are important, to a degree. If you want an instant attraction, maybe a short lived physical rendezvous.. (dont count on these, XX chromosome carriers are unpredictable here- We tend to be turned off by those seeking a random available leg to mount and hump so if this is you, automatically remove a couple points from your gross quotient, .. unless we are in rebound mode.. then.(blanket female statement here). well none of this applies.. but be ready for a rollercoaster with a lot of good sex and very little emotional obligation on OUR end)… But if you are hot enough.. and your body is rockin’ .. we might kid ourselves to believe we attracted right off the bat.. But without a little bit from other categories, this MAY end up being one of those.. ‘I am just not as attracted as I thought, cant we just be friends?’ relationships.. and by friends I mean you may be called upon to answer a late night need for .. attention.. once in a great while… maybe not..

Hygiene. This quality is important regardless and must be at max capacity. We understand that you are burping, farting harry chest beating men but if you have poor hygiene.. it brings nearly EVERY other attribute down to roughly 30 percent of its actual value. Take a shower. use soap.. Brush your teeth. Wear deodorant.. Lotion is ok for men, I promise.. cologne is nice.. make an effort.. some men go above and beyond with this.. mani-pedis.. waxing, etc. this is all good.. and some of the extras may even boost other areas..(extra credit points are always good right?) just don’t ask to borrow my heels and we are good.

Charm… this one can be used to boost an otherwise imbalanced or insufficient level of any of the other qualities but can not be a quality in and of itself. If you are charming but have poor hygiene and aren’t very smart.. even our best intentions wont get you very far..

I suppose the most important part.. the toe curling mouth watering attraction.. in my case.. would have to be brain function.. yeah.. IQ is hot. Maybe I should be stalking the local Mensa chapter.. Maybe I should visit the bookstore more often. I don’t know. But If you peered in on my personal life you might find that I tend to gravitate toward and hold on to those with intellect smarter than your average bear. My best friend is brilliant.. all my female friends rate high in functioning brain matter.. its just.. what I like.

So.. truly.. I guess this whole ‘article’ boils down to this.. If you are hot.. that might earn you a few points.. If you have money.. that might earn you a few more. but neither of those can sustain any sort of ongoing attraction. But if you can have a deep conversation and be world smart.. we are off to a great start.

But if you don’t know what a bar of soap is, even if you are Bill Gates, I wouldn’t enjoy sleeping with you. (hey, I said I wouldnt LIKE it, not that I wouldnt do it.. hell everyone has their price… *i kid, I kid* )

Yeah see what happens when I am bored on my day off?